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< > December 2003

• Mon, Dec 8, 2003 11:36 PM

  oh, one other important thing to note as we discuss milestones:
  
  kaya definitely has an opinion now. about everything. such as:
  
  - how you should read that book
  - how much she should dislikes that blue plastic dog you just gave her
  - how badly she wants to get up from her high chair
  - how mad she is that you're putting on that diaper
  - how happy the Baby Einstein caterpillar makes her
  - etc.
  
  

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• Mon, Dec 8, 2003 11:16 PM

  had a business dinner tonight, so i left my child and my wife and drove across town. but, alas, the dinner ended early, so i was left in my schnazzy little car, streetlights painting shadows as i followed the moon home.
  
  stopped at a light in beverly hills and suddenly felt the urge to drive up, up, up to my parent's old house in the hills, where the view was, well, The View, and much of my 20's passed. I tore up the hill, dangerously over-confident that i remembered the twists and turns, until i reached the gate to the house, and found it hard to resist simply pulling in to the drive.
  
  ignition off, top open, i alternated looking at the moon and the view from a curve up high on summitridge. a tinge of sadness for time passed, the common yearning to do more with one's life, make every second count, yada yada yada, and then a realization that oh so much has changed, and that i am a different man today than the kid that lived here. i'm a dad. woah. freaky.
  
  i'm proud of where i've gone from and to. i'm proud of the decisions i've made, the woman i married, the life i've set up. i'm speechless with glee and fascination at the child i've created. i need to infuse this mood in my everyday life, and spend less time complaining about the bad service, the weather, the traffic, and more time watching the moon with my family.

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• Sun, Dec 7, 2003 11:26 PM

  tonight, kaya bonked her chin on a chair, and a spot of blood appeared on her lip. today, she bonked her head on the floor and tears flowed yet again. my adreneline rises, and i feel as if i must correct this situation immediately, i must protect and defend. how odd that this is built into our systems.

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