Back To School!

February 2003

  • Tue, Feb 25, 2003 9:56 PM

    tomorrow i'll be likely spending my first night away from my daughter. i am very much not looking forward to it. i'm also very much not liking spending any real time away from her...

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  • Thu, Feb 13, 2003 10:47 AM

    it's official - we have a daughter that can sit up all on her own! she's done the trick at least 6 times now, and every time she sits up, she gets this "check me out now!" look on her face.

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  • Mon, Feb 10, 2003 5:45 PM

    happy 8 month birthday...just think...in one month, you'll have been outside the womb longer than you were in it!

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  • Sat, Feb 8, 2003 11:06 PM

    This one's about family. About taking the long term view. About permanance, and history, and the bonds of generations.

    A combination of things brings me around to these thoughts - a weepy movie, some new pictures of my daughter, and, perhaps most significantly, the discovery of the actual ship manifest of my grandfather Joseph Herscovici, a wee 4 years old when his ship landed at Ellis on August 10, 1910. You can't help but romanticize the experience, and for just a moment, you want to be there and feel him and line up the generations and, hell, just put 'em in a room and see what happens.

    It's the little things in life that get in the way - the dramas, the gossip, the minor blowouts - that often obscure the big picture of family...or, at least, this one. From a few hundred feet up, it can look like a mess at times, but, oh, to step back and trace the lines, see the ships in the harbor, the love letters, the fortunes made and lost, the shopkeeper's sign hung on the wall, the graduations, birthdays, funerals, departures and arrivals. You gotta step back, way back, to see the full picture sometimes.

    How does this relate to Kaya? Well, tonight, for some reason, i'm starting to see the links in the chain, and to look at her not just as a baby, but as a continuation of things, the fateful offspring of that day in 1903 when Joseph stepped off the steamer. I'm not sitting at the kid's table anymore - I've graduated to the middle generation, with parents above and children below folding me into a warm sandwich of comfort, joy and satisfaction. Being a link in a chain is a warm blanket on a cold night - a reminder that there's more, there's a centuries-long story being told, and that it's all going somewhere. And, in a selfish way, you get to feeling that your child is your ultimate reassurance that you've left your mark on this world, and that there's a reflection of you in this place if (god forbid) you're not around to see tomorrow. Or maybe it's just a wonderment that you could create something so beautiful...I dunno...I just know that I get lost in her eyes, I could stare at her forever.

    My thoughts turn to my wife, and the sheer size and impact of her family. Between Dad and Mom, over 20 brothers and sisters, and it's overwhelming as you try to get your arms around the size of it all. No written records of any of it. Sat down with Dad just the other day, and he can barely remember his grandfather's name and profession. And so another page turns, another generation takes it's place on the stage.

    So tomorrow, let the dramas come my way, and may i hold my head up high so that i may see the summit from the clouds. I hold so much hope for my daughter, and I pray that some day she realize what she's inheriting, both the good and the bad, as she takes her place on the chain. You don't really see it until you have kids yourself, and find yourself bookmarked on both ends by family. But when you realize it, oh, you find yourself falling to sleep with a smile.

    (oh, and, no, there's no teeth yet!)

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  • Tue, Feb 4, 2003 10:32 PM

    there she is, sleeping like an angel again.

    still no teeth, but the personality changes every day. now she smiles in anticipation of a hug, a kiss or a raspberry. she observes when we go for morning walks, she talks when she feels like it, she grabs and shakes pretty much anything that'll fit in her pudgy hands, and she cries when you lie her down, as her life is totally vertical now.

    i'm a parent. i dunno where i happened, but i don't think like a kid anymore. i think twice about stuff, and i have that stupid, goofy, proud face whenever my daughter even looks the right direction. i'm lost daydreaming at work thinking about hanging with my kid, and i don't plan anything except hanging out with her for as long as she'll have me.

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