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< > July 2003

• Thu, Jul 31, 2003 11:43 PM

  we got a walker!
  
  yesterday, around 7PM, lil' k was drying off from her daily bath, when it happened. cho and i were sitting about 5 feet away from each other, and lil'k crawled up to me. she got up to a standing position, holding on to each of my knees for balance, turned towards mom, and took at least 5 tentative, yet determined steps to mommy.
  
  she'd been doing similar moves all week, but they all ended after about 3 steps with a dive into mommy's arms. but today, this move was complete...she walked from her daddy to her mommy.
  
  it's weird...with that one small move, she suddenly seemed much older, and the true length and progress of 14 months settled upon me. we've got a little girl, with opinions and favorite things and gestures and words and all that girly stuff. it's wild.

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• Tue, Jul 22, 2003 8:10 PM

  ah, the night-night routine.
  
  when the little hand nears 7, and the girl starts to rub her eyes with her hand, or rub your arm with her face, or rub her face into the pillow, you know it's that time.
  
  time to close the shades, time to dim the lights, time to finish up the bath, dry the hair, slip on the PJ's and start talking in slightly quieter voices. turn on some gently tinkling music and pull out the books - we'll read just a few stories tonight, as it's getting late. as we read, she leans forward and kisses the fuzzy bee, turns pages with tremendous determination, and softly clapping at the right part in her favorite story. she sits between my legs and i smell her just-washed hair and gently squeeze her chubby little toes.
  
  when the books are done and the a little milk has been drained from the bear-shaped bottle, i gently lift my daughter up into my arms.
  
  "night night, light", i say.
  
  "niiiiniiii", she says, reaching out to the light.
  
  "night night, chair", i say as we cruise by.
  
  "niiiiniii", she says again.
  
  "night night, big polar bear", i say softly.
  
  she kisses the big polar bear on the nose.
  
  and so it goes - kisses for everyone - the little polar bear, the big brown bear, the koala bear, the blue bear, the frog, the little chicken, Feathers the Penguin, the flower, AfroKen, and Tigger.
  
  when we've said goodnight to all her friends, we turn toward her bed.
  
  "night night, kaya. i love you so much."
  
  "niiiniiii", she says.
  
  i gently place her in the crib, and silently tiptoe out of her life, if just for a few hours. i miss her already.

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• Thu, Jul 10, 2003 11:36 PM

  happy 13 month birthday, daughter.
  
  we celebrated with one of your favorite meals - japanese food. you pretty much eat anything these days - udon, cod, tofu, chicken, pasta, bread, cheerios, blueberries...you're especially hot on carbs, or anything you can slurp (i.e. spaghetti, udon). you take a long piece of pasta, put it in your fist, and slurp it through your hand, siphoning off all the sauce so that it collects on your lap. it's kinda cute, though when you then reach that hand up into your hair...
  
  speaking of speaking, we're inching closer to some real words. there's been some outbursts that sounded something like "mama" or "agua", and both of those items happened to be nearby at the time. "dada" is old hat now, although "dada" might refer to her dad, or a cheerio, or her mood at that given moment.
  
  we're cruising fast these days, but walking, alas, remains a step ahead of us (oy with the puns!). i had a wager going that you'd be stepping out at 13 months, but i think you're holding onto that trick for a little while longer.
  
  the last milestone to mention will occur tomorrow night...when mom and i head up to San Francisco for the night, leaving you with your Lola for about 20 hours. cho's pretty cool with it, but i find it kinda freaky to not be within a couple of miles of my little girl. while i'm sure she'll be fine, i worry. hey, i'm a dad.
  
  i was driving around tonight, by myself, on a hot, misty santa monica evening, thinking about how sad a world would be without my daughter in it. it's a profound sadness, more so that i think i've felt before, when i think of being apart from her for an extended period of time. i often find that absence makes my heart grow fonder, and in her case, it happens even when i leave her room.
  
  happy bday!

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