Back To School! » February 2004 Journal Entries » AboutMyBaby - online baby scrapbooks, photo albums, videos, birth and pregnancy announcements

< > February 2004

Thu, Feb 19, 2004 3:32 PM
sometimes you find yourself sitting around just marveling at the changes in your child.

i'm at work, focusing on spreadsheets and meetings and all sorts of other things that do pretty much nothing for your long term mental health, and all of the sudden i think of the way kaya was running around the kitchen last night. for me, it was a first - her and her friend luke ran 'round and 'round the kitchen and the family room, while us parents sat at the dinner table. i was so proud and excited that she was entertaining herself with someone else, and yet another part of me felt sad that she no longer needed me with her, and still another part of me wanted to be running around with her instead of doing the adult thing...

...and then, this morning, as we sat at Fromin's Deli chewing on our eggs and bacon, we just stared at each other. lil' k ain't so clueless anymore, and she knows and understands when you're looking at her, making faces, and the like. i, the overly dramatic dad, often stare hard at her, as if to make the connection between us more real, or just marvel at this most amazing human being. but this am, she just looked back, and we stared at each other for a few minutes, seemingly understanding that we share a special bond, talking without speaking. i need to hold onto this moment for days when i feel less strong...

...and then, once again, we're back at the house, tackling and screaming 'PPHHH!" (which is Kaya for "pho", the Vietnamese soup - don't ask how we got there) as loud as we can. she's found the volume knob on her voice, and now understands the dramatic effect of the scream, and we holler around the house, whisper to each other, and holler yet again. we play hide and seek, we read Dr Seuss, and she jumps over the chair onto the couch, where daddy catches her...

there were days, not long ago, where i lacked the energy to deal with kaya when i returned from work...i mean, i held her and talked with her and gently laid her down to bed, but my heart was in the chair, or the bed, or anywhere where i could just sit and relax...but not anymore...i find myself watching the clock for the end of the day...for the time when i sneak in the house, tip-toe into the kitchen where lil' k is finishing her macaroni and cheese, and grabbing her as we spin and spin...

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates
Mon, Feb 16, 2004 11:36 PM
a few words about selflessness.

i consider myself to be pretty selfish, actually. not sure if it's my ever-increasing age, or my general stodginess, or what, but i feel as if most of the decisions i make in my life are based around, well, me. not that this is earth-shattering, but it's something that's come to mind as i close out a wonderful weekend with kaya. why, you (oh so politely) ask?

because i found myself this weekend wanting to just give joy, and not take. i suppose this feeling hit me hardest as i was pushing kaya on the swing in our backyard. pushing a swing is hardly stimulating - and yet i found myself riveted to that spot, hoping it would go on forever, as i watched kaya just giggling away as she pointed out the trees, the sky, the airplanes and anything that had the color yellow. i couldn't get enough of her fun.

which i suppose, in a way, is selfish.

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates
Mon, Feb 9, 2004 2:51 PM
chona hirsch: hi daddy
chona hirsch: hewo?
chona hirsch: i am sad that you are ignoring me...
chona hirsch: hewo
chona hirsch: where did you go?
doug!: hey kaya
chona hirsch: no, it's not kaya
doug!: hmm.
doug!: who is it?
chona hirsch: dunno...but mommy keeps calling me blobby #2
doug!: she does...
doug!: ?
doug!: that's weird.
doug!: i didn't know there WAS a blobby #2
doug!: and if there was, i'd call you 'aidan'
chona hirsch: neither did mommy...until about an hour ago--she also keeps calling me "zade"
chona hirsch: i'm very confused
doug!: are you trying to tell me something?
chona hirsch: i don't really know anything--i'm only 4 weeks old
doug!: are you shitting me?
chona hirsch: nope
doug!: are you home?
chona hirsch: yep
doug!: tell mommy to answer
chona hirsch: hi daddy-o
chona hirsch: i hear from my sister that you're a pretty good daddy
doug!: pretty potent daddy, i'd say
chona hirsch: your boys can swim
doug!: i have to go, as i'm getting my tubes tied now
chona hirsch: hey now...
chona hirsch: are you suggesting i was an accident?
doug!: no...
chona hirsch: that hurts my feelings
doug!: but i think this gun has fired it's last shot
chona hirsch: what you talkin about willis
doug!: yeah, he's tired
chona hirsch: his dogs are tired?
chona hirsch: is it lame that i told you over messenger?
doug!: personally, i kinda like embracing new technologies
doug!: his dogs are very tired.
chona hirsch: i figured you would appreciate that
chona hirsch: you should print this convo--it's pretty funny
doug!: this kid is going to be very post-modern
doug!: i could post it on kaya's site....
doug!: ?
chona hirsch: particularly the "are you shitting me" part
chona hirsch: sure
doug!: that, of course, would mean that it's public...
chona hirsch: only the detail-oriented will know
doug!: for all to see...
chona hirsch: i don't think that many people would pick up on it
doug!: ok. in that case, my love, i shall post on aboutmybaby and we will see what happens! adios, mon amour.
chona hirsch: ciao bello

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates
Sat, Feb 7, 2004 10:59 PM
for the first time in, well, forever, i can perceptibly feel my energy draining from me. i'm beat...it's hard to get motivated to write, it's hard to be active when passive just sounds so good...when you have days of beautiful, vibrant chaos like we do with our 20-month old, you find yourself unable to catch a breath, fully decompress, empty the gastank and refill it with something totally different. it's a rare day when i feel myself actually feeling myself, versus just feeling wiped out. it's an odd thing to long for the angst and misery of my 20's, but i find myself looking out from suburbia and chain-restaurant-ville and wondering where the dirt, grit and unpleasantness of my life went.

once again, i feel forced to remind everyone that this is not a complaint. my daughter is amazing - and she's got more new tricks than i can even list - but i wonder (and suspect i will wonder for a long time) where the line gets drawn between her and me, between we and i.

ok, to step off the soapbox for a minute, you should know, you have to know, that kaya is now officially brilliant. colors? no problem. letters? sure. animals? easy. stacking toys? pss-shaw. she does it all with easy.

some of the cuter new tricks include:

- "shark!" (yelled loudly) - her favorite new animal

- "doug" and "chona" as substitutes for mommy and daddy

- "open" (often said in a demanding tone)

- random sneak-attack kisses

- long, lengthy, beautiful hugs

i still find it odd when people use words like 'daughter' and 'she'. i'm not sure why, but i've failed to comprehend the gender of my progeny...i don't think i'm in denial, and i'm tickled pink that i've got a girl...but for some reason i just haven't thought about boys versus girls...perhaps it's that i'd like her to just choose her own course, regardless of all that stuff. who knows.

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates
Tue, Feb 3, 2004 3:06 PM
today i'm on a plane, missing you from 37,000 feet. if you were with me this morning, we'd look at the clouds, learn about mountains and kick the guy's seat in front of us repeatedly. alas, i'll have to do those things myself and report back to you tonight.

time for yet another round of unsolicited advice from a veteran father of one almost 20-month old:

it just gets better each day. i can see the father of the 6-week old wondering what he got himself into, praying for sleep, longing for the days of a remote control and just a couple of hours of peace. but you can't even begin to imagine the riveting fascination of a kid that's picking up new tricks on an hourly basis, and who derives such joy out of the littlest things in life.

my memories of these days fade so quickly - there's so much that has happened over the last year and a half that i hardly recall, and i almost feel as if i'll be starting over with kid #2. for my own future recollection, let me describe this morning:

kaya has a slight cough, and so i awoke around 6:10 to the sounds of coughing, interspersed with "mommy", "daddy", "gatas" (milk in tagalog), "fissssh" (for the marine-themed stickers on her crib), and other pleasant observations that kaya was making from within her crib. she wasn't really crying, although every few minutes her "daddyyy" became a bit whiny, but she was more just showing off her newfound vocabulary. what was especially cute was that it was pretty dark in her room, so she was really going off her memory of where the fish and the flowers were.

so i went in her room around 6:15 to say hi, and slowly turned up the lights. i went to grab her out of the crib, but she has no interest in getting out - she really digs her little crib, especially when she can either a) bounce up and down on it, b) kiss her mommy or daddy through the slats, c) get buried in about 2 dozen stuffed animals (she squeals and buries her face in tigger), or d) she can read a book and tell daddy about everything in it.

so, still in her crib, i hand her a picture book, and she procedes to discuss everything. my current favorite word is "cake", which she always punctuates with a blast of air, a "yay!" and some clapping, as cake comes with celebrations, of course. she passed quickly through "bee", "banana", "juice", as these are old words for her, and she turned back to "cake" about 6 times, each time ending with a blow, a "yay" and a clap.

after the book reading, she still didn't want out of the crib, so i buried her in animals and she stood up and fell down again and again, while i just sat and watched.

(incidentally, she's become quite the fan of the Talking Heads 'Speaking In Tongues' album, which i'm quite proud of. Especially 'Girlfriend Is Better'. How mod.)

Finally, we got bored of the crib, and walked into her playroom. Mind you, she's in a big purple pajama one-piece, so she, like her dad, more waddled than walked. We stacked a few toys and then sang "The Wheels On The Bus". Now, I've never been one for singing - I don't mind it, but it's just not the first thing that comes to mind - but she's REALLY into "Wheels", and when I start singing it, she starts 'dancing' - which in her case is spastically squatting her chubby little thighs as she cracks up. (My daughter and I have ALOT in common). When we get to the wheels of the bus, she balls her hands into fists and rotates them like wheels...when we get to the driver, she sticks out her thumbs and "moves on back"...when we get to the babies, she "waah waah waah"'s by mushing her palms into her eyes. sometimes she gets so excited about the dance that she stumbles and falls down. this girl is INTO it.

Comments:

Add a comment:

Name: Email:
Comment:

Notify me of scrapbook updates